First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize