Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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