There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
