I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
