in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
