Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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