Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
