is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
