My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
