so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
