babies were throwing up all over the place
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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