my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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