LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
