I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
