i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
