If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
