i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize