Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
