This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
