No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
