It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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