Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think I died a long time ago.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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