This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
