i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
