I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
