when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
