ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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