Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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