I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize