As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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