It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
