Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
