i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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