what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
