Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
