Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
