But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The air taste purple.
Randomize