Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
