I didn't shave. On purpose
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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