Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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