Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
