I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
