If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
