I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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