Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
