Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize