Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
