Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
