Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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