I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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