we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
