I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We just shotgunned beers for America
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
