They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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