Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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