She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
