We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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