"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
