So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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