so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
