the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She needs sedatives and a leash
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
