She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize