Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
