I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
