Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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