I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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