I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
