I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
