ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
