What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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